Please don’t forget to vote! More details on movie night coming soon. 🍿

Since it’s to celebrate my birthday, I’ve listed some favorites below. Vote for which one you’d most like to watch. Once we’ve picked a movie, I’ll follow up with details.

Hi, friends! Welcome to my Patreon. Thanks for your support! I think I’d like to have our first movie night around my birthday on June 17, so stay tuned for more info and a poll about that.

As far as writing goes, I’ve been submitting short stories and need to do that more often. Please encourage me to do that more often. I enjoy it. My story “Eleven” will be part of a Pride Month special for The Wicked Library with Hailey Piper, Eric Larocca, and a bunch of other talented people.

I also got another acceptance for an anthology which I am SO EXCITED for, but can’t talk about just yet. You’ll be the first to know.

The plan is still to release my adult vampire horror MOUTH FULL OF ASHES this year, but it needs revisions. Once it’s up to snuff, I’ll ask for beta readers and get a cover design. Guess who will be the first people to see the cover… 😉

Anyway, thanks again for supporting me and my work. I can’t thank you enough.

Sorry for the delay! Enjoy!

“Callie,” said Elijah. “What do you think?”

What did she think? She was in over her head. Like, way in over her head. Her mind wasn’t in the right place for her to be making decisions. In all honesty, she felt tipsy, although she hadn’t had any alcohol. She was just drunk on Elijah.

The thought flipped her stomach, and not in a good way. Callie swallowed.

“Might be fun,” she offered weakly. “I haven’t been to a club in a while. What do you think, Ram? I’m game if you are.”

Something flashed in Ramsay’s eyes. Callie couldn’t place it. Nevertheless, he put on a smile. “Yeah, why not? A club sounds fun. Jabari’s been dying to teach me to dance.”

Jabari grinned like he couldn’t sense the tension, but Callie was sure he could—it would be impossible to ignore it. He pulled Ramsay into a hug and whispered something in his ear. Callie wanted to roll her eyes, but she held back. If she was trying to repair their friendship, she had to be cool.

Elijah slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her against his side. His skin was hot even through his clothes. How would it feel against hers?

She blushed again. Jesus. What was going on with her? She’d never felt so sensitive around a guy before. Maybe his cologne was messing with her head or something.

“Okay,” said Elijah. “Let’s head out to Indigo.”

“We can’t get in there,” Callie said. “The wait list is like six months out.”

“Not for us.” Maeve smiled. “Elijah calls in favors.”

Callie looked at Elijah. She almost expected him to look smug, but if anything, he shied away from the attention. Maybe he was humble after all. Although… what kind of favors did he have to call in, and what gave him pull over anyone outside the Starlight Carnival?

Then again, she had essentially just met him and already wanted to give him everything she had. There was something to be said for that kind of charisma.

“Okay then,” Callie said. “Let’s go.”

Part of her hoped that Ramsay would object so the two of them could go home and talk about how bizarre this situation was. But Ramsay still seemed mad at her, and she’d presumably come to the carnival for… something. She still couldn’t remember and maybe that should have bothered her more, but it didn’t. It was an unscratched itch at the back of her mind. Nothing more.

They all ended up walking to Indigo. Callie shouldn’t have been surprised. No one in the group had a car besides her, and they couldn’t all fit in her vehicle. The air was balmy. Callie let Elijah hold her hand even though her palm was sweaty, and it was way too hot for physical contact. It felt nice, holding hands. It had been a while.

As they walked, her thoughts wandered to Lola. Had she thought of Callie, at the party? Had she missed her?

Elijah caught her eye. He winked.

Maybe she’d made the right choice.

Elijah squeezed her hand. Callie smiled.

“Something the matter?” he asked.

She shook her head. “Just thinking. How much farther is it?”

“Not too much, darling. You don’t mind the walking, though. Gives us the chance to get to know each other better.”

How did he know her so well? It didn’t matter how long it took them to get to Indigo. Her feet had hurt, but they didn’t hurt now. She wasn’t sure what had changed. Elijah had a point, though—it was a lovely nice, and it was nice to talk to someone other than Ramsay for a change.

She looked back over her shoulder. Ramsay and Jabari held hands, too. Ramsay whispered something in Jabari’s ear, but pulled back when he made eye contact with Callie. She faced forward again, frowning. What had happened to them? How had they let some boys come between them?

“Don’t worry about them,” Elijah urged. “Your friend’s in a bad mood, but we can pull him out of it, right?”

Callie wanted to believe him, no matter what he said. He made it so easy to believe him. But he didn’t know Ramsay like she did, and he had no way of knowing what he was like when he became part of a couple. He tended to get all wrapped up in the other person, ignoring any other key people in his life.

She felt the heat of someone’s gaze—someone other than Elijah—and looked to their left. Maeve and Tahlia had been walking and talking together, but now Maeve had her attention fixed on Callie. Her eyes were wide. Was it Callie’s imagination, or did she look concerned? If she’d known Maeve better, maybe she would have asked about it. As it was, she looked away from Maeve and tried to return to Elijah.

He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. Her head was starting to hurt. Looking at him seemed to make it worse somehow.

“I don’t know if I feel up to clubbing,” she admitted.

“Sure you do,” he said. Pain flared in her forehead, and she winced. He kept going. “We won’t stay all night, and you’ll have a good time. I promise.”

A memory of Becca, sweaty and smiling, lurched to the front of her consciousness. “Raves go all night, Cal. Gotta keep up with me and Ram.”

Becca. Callie froze. That was the reason she’d gone to the carnival. She’d gone looking for her lost bracelet.

Elijah halted with her. Ramsay and Jabari almost slammed into them, and Jabari swore. Tahlia and Maeve slowed to a stop and looked over.

“Darling,” Elijah prompted.

“I have to go back. We—me and Ramsay—need to head back to the carnival.”

“Like hell we do,” Ramsay said. “I have everything I need right here.”

But he didn’t. He didn’t have Callie, not anymore. And if she could tell him that she’d gone back for the bracelet, he would understand.

But she couldn’t find the words. They were trapped inside somehow.

“You’d have a great time,” Maeve promised. Was it just Callie’s imagination, or did Maeve’s smile turn sultry as she looked Callie over? Maybe she was reading too much into everyone.

But Elijah couldn’t keep his interest a secret. His gaze swept over Callie again, head to toe, and when he met her eyes, she smiled. Most men checked her out like they wanted to devour her. Elijah’s attention was thorough, but appreciative. Warm. The more he looked at her, the more she wanted him to.

“You want to kiss me,” Elijah said.

Callie reddened and gaped at him. “I… I don’t think…”

“You do, don’t you?” He raised an eyebrow. The question held no judgment, though maybe that was because it was rhetorical. He’d spoken like he knew the answer already. Was it that obvious?

She’d never felt so thoroughly embarrassed in her life. The heat of everyone’s gazes made her tremble. They awaited her next move. What was she supposed to say?

“Answer me, please, Callie.”

The words sprang from her lips. “I do.”

Elijah’s grin widened. “You could’ve said so, darling. I want to kiss you, too.”

Callie’s heart thudded. No one else moved as Elijah crept close to her, a golden vision in the firelight. She couldn’t keep her eyes off him, couldn’t look away, couldn’t move—not even when he knelt in front of her.

“I bet you taste like sunshine.” His voice was low, smooth, dangerous, just as it had been before. It made her want to give him everything. It dizzied her.

“I might.”

Elijah closed his eyes and leaned into her, hand cupping her cheek. Callie’s eyes fell shut and she met him halfway, mouth sliding against his like they’d done this before. Elijah’s lips were hot, his kiss deliberate. He made it clear how much he wanted her. His hand slid to the back of her neck. He urged her closer.

“Callie?” Ramsay asked. “What are you doing here?”

Callie broke the kiss with a gasp. Elijah pulled back, but he didn’t stand or anything. Somehow, while Elijah distracted her, Ramsay had walked into the campground. 

Jabari stood, went over to Ramsay, and gave him a quick kiss. He slipped his arm around Ramsay’s shoulders. Still, Ramsay only had eyes for Callie.

Not knowing what else to do, she stood. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“Jabari invited me. What’s going on?” He scowled at Elijah, then looked back to Callie. “Are you okay?”

She didn’t know. Her mouth and cheeks burned and she wanted to kiss Elijah again and nothing made sense anymore. She was in a strange place with strange people at a strange time of night and she couldn’t remember why she’d come to the carnival again in the first place.

“Callie,” Ramsay said.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m fine.” She wasn’t sure why she was apologizing. She had nothing to be sorry for. Hell, she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t liked kissing Elijah. It was a shame they’d been interrupted…

Shit, she had to focus. Maybe she’d forgotten to take her medicine again. Maybe that was the problem. She usually took it before she went to bed—

“It was consensual, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Elijah said.

“I want to hear it from her,” Ramsay retorted.

“I… yes, it was.” Callie chewed her lip. “I wanted him to kiss me.”

“Okay, weird. Whatever.” Ramsay crossed his arms. “What are you doing here? Assuming you didn’t drop by just to get your rocks off with… whoever this is.”

“That’s Elijah,” said Jabari.

“I can introduce myself.” Elijah’s lips were pink, but otherwise, he looked unaffected. He stretched out a hand for Ramsay to shake. “Elijah. I tend to call the shots around here.”

Ramsay ignored his hand. “You don’t own me. Or her.”

“I’m fine,” Callie said. “Really, Ram. I promise.”

“Have you met up with him before?” he asked. “Before tonight, I mean.”

Callie shook her head. Her blush deepened. “I… well, we just met.”

“An hour ago,” Elijah added.

Ramsay’s forehead creased. “You’re making out with some dude you just met? Callie, this isn’t like you. What’s going on?”

She wasn’t sure why, but she felt like she needed to defend Elijah more than herself. “He’s a nice guy, Ram. He hasn’t done anything creepy, okay? He’s been a gentleman, and he—”

“What’s his last name?”

Callie gaped at him. “I… okay, what’s Jabari’s?”

Ramsay’s face fell. “You know that’s not fair.”

“No. I don’t know that.” She put her hands on her hips. “As far as I can see, there’s no real difference, so back off. I’m a grown woman. I can make my own decisions.”

“Yeah,” said Ramsay, “shitty ones.”

Callie’s mouth tightened. What could she say to that? She had no idea why he was so pissed, but she didn’t feel like getting into it with him now, especially not in front of this group of hot people. All she wanted to do now was keep kissing Elijah and Ramsay had gotten in the way of that. She had to get him out.

As if on cue, Jabari touched Ramsay’s shoulder. “Why don’t we go somewhere?”

Ramsay didn’t move. “I’m comfortable here.”

“I don’t think you are, Ram. Come on.” Jabari tugged on his arm but Ramsay stood still, staring dead-eyed at Callie. Jabari tried again. “There’s a club not far from here. I think we all could go.”

Elijah lit up. “Think we need a night out. Could do everyone here a world of good.”

Callie chewed the inside of her cheek. She still struggled to remember why she’d come to the carnival but she knew it was important for her to be there. Normally, it would have bothered her that she couldn’t remember something that seemed so critical, but… being in the group’s presence had calmed her. Nothing else mattered besides hanging out with them.

If that meant she had to go to a club, maybe it wasn’t the worst thing. Besides, she could always come back to the carnival once she remembered why she’d come there in the first place.

Callie had almost expected them to take her to a tent, so when they led her to a group of camper vans, she was pleasantly surprised. The embers of a campfire glowed in the center of the group of vans. Metal folding chairs with mesh backs surrounded the fire and a red-sided cooler sat against one of the chairs. A few cigarette butts littered the ground and Callie skirted around them as Elijah and the others led her toward the chairs.

Elijah motioned at Jabari and he went to the fire without further prompting. He knelt, took out a lighter, and poked the embers with a stick. Tahlia and Maeve lowered themselves into adjacent chairs. Elijah remained standing with Callie. He seemed taller somehow, shoulders thrown back, chin raised, eyes blazing. Callie felt a twinge of nervousness as he looked her over again.

“It’s quiet back here,” she said. The campground was far enough from the carnival grounds that it was almost tucked into the forest and the chirping cicadas drowned out the sounds of people and machinery. They were also far from the carnival’s floodlights, and the only illumination came from the moon and amber string lights on some of the campers.

The moonlight glanced off the sharp planes of Elijah’s face and cast shadows under his cheeks, across his mouth. Still, when he smiled, it was impossible to miss.

Callie unclenched her jaw and let her shoulders slump. If they planned to hurt her in some way, they would have done it already. They’d been nothing but friendly so far—except for Jabari, but Elijah would keep him from being weird to her again.

“How are your injuries?” Elijah asked.

Callie’s brow furrowed. His gaze drifted down her legs, hesitated at her knees, then jumped back up to her face. Realization dawned on her. “Oh, the scrapes from where I fell. I guess Jabari told you.”

“It’s a small carnival. Word travels fast. Not much else to do but talk.”

“I’m fine. I mean, it’s nothing major. Bled a little, but not too badly.”

“Blood doesn’t bother you?” The corners of Maeve’s mouth twitched.

“Not really.” Callie looked from Maeve to Jabari, who had lit the fire and worked to get it going. She couldn’t focus on anything but the fire. Their eyes… something in their eyes made it difficult to focus, and she had to keep her wits about her. “Can’t say I’ve ever been squeamish.”

“Good to know.” Elijah lowered his voice, smoothed it in a way that gave her chills. How the fuck did he do that? Maybe he worked as a ventriloquist or something? Come to think of it, she had no clue what any of them actually did, how they made their living at the carnival. All she knew was that they worked there.

“So, what do you all do for work? What do you do at the carnival?”

She felt, rather than saw, Elijah’s smile falter. “We’re jacks of all trades. Renaissance people.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and the movement caught Callie’s attention. His boots were heeled, and high—how had she not noticed that before? “We float from one job to the next, never settling down. Whatever is needed.”

“We work in the show,” Tahlia said. “Most of us are performers.”

“I work backstage,” Jabari chimed in. “Used to be a fire-eater, but it got too tough for me.”

“Elijah’s being modest. He’s the ringmaster.” Maeve winked. “He puts all his charisma to good use onstage.”

“Guilty as charged.” Elijah gestured at the empty chair beside Maeve. “Callie, please. Sit.”

She moved to the empty chair and sat before she realized what she was doing. Something in his voice compelled her to obey, made it too easy to go along with whatever he asked. Thank God he hadn’t told her to do anything dangerous.

Yet. The word hung like a threat in the back of her mind. She chased it away with more questions.

“What about you, Maeve? What do you do?”

“Tahlia and I have an act together.” She smiled. “We’re acrobats. Aerialists.”

“We flip through hoops and shit,” Tahlia added.

“We’re all magicians, too,” Elijah said. “Well, I’m the magician, and the girls are my assistants. They make me look good.”

“You already look good, babe. We make you look better.” Maeve bit her lip, fluttering her eyelashes. Her change in demeanor took Callie aback.

Elijah winked at her. “It’s an honor to share the stage with both of you beautiful ladies. You know that.”

Were Elijah and Maeve together? He’d had his arms around both the women, but Maeve was the one openly flirting with him now. And she’d called him “babe.” That had to count for something. He didn’t seem like he’d let many people call him that.

Of course, Elijah was checking Callie out again, and all her theories went out the window. If he was with Maeve, would he be looking at other women so blatantly? She doubted it.

Callie flushed. It wasn’t that she typically shied away from male attention, but there was an intensity to Elijah’s focus that frightened her. He looked at her like he could see inside her, like he wanted to figure out what made her tick. On the other hand, maybe she was reading too much into the situation. Maybe Elijah just thought she was hot and wanted to fuck her sometime. Callie wouldn’t hate it if that were the truth.

She tucked her hair behind her ears. Let him look at her. She had nothing to hide, and it felt nice to be admired.

“You should come sometime,” Elijah said.

In the wake of her theorizing, the double entendre stunned her. As her blush deepened, she reassured herself he hadn’t meant it that way. He had to be talking about the show, right?

“I’d love to see it. Does it happen every night?”

“Every night around nine, and seats fill up fast.” Elijah’s gaze flitted to Callie’s mouth, even though she wasn’t speaking anymore. “Suppose we could save you one, though, if you wanted.”

“I’d like that. Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure, Callie. Our pleasure.” He spread his arms to indicate that included the rest of the group, and the others looked at her like she’d given them a gift. Callie couldn’t let them down now. She had to go to the show.

He stood in a loose semicircle with Maeve, Tahlia, and a white man Callie didn’t know. Maeve had her hair down. She wore a black bralette, a floral skirt, combat boots, and fishnets. Tahlia had her hair pulled into a low ponytail, and she wore a flowy black dress. She also wore a wide-brimmed black hat.

As for the man Callie hadn’t met yet, he was shorter than Jabari. He had messy, dark hair and sleepy brown eyes, but he emanated power, confidence, magnetism. She’d met no one with such electric energy. He wore dark jeans, boots, and a leather jacket open over… a mesh shirt. Someone had tattooed the word HEDONIST in red letters over his heart. A septum ring glinted in his nose.

The man’s eyes sparkled as he studied her. He had both arms thrown over Maeve and Tahlia’s shoulders. Callie was self-conscious. She was sure she looked a mess, and there was no fixing it now.

“Who’s this?” the man asked Jabari. The sounds of the carnival faded out as he spoke until Callie couldn’t focus on anything but him.

“Ramsay’s friend,” Jabari said. “Callie, think it was.”

Callie bristled. It was rude to talk about her like she wasn’t there, and ruder for him to act like he couldn’t remember her name, especially when he’d been so creepy toward her earlier.

“I’m sure she can speak for herself,” the man admonished Jabari.

“Yeah, I’m Callie.”

“Nice to meet you, Callie. I’m Elijah.” 

He beamed and extended a hand to her. She gave him her hand, assuming he’d shake it. Instead, he clasped it and raised it to his lips before dropping a kiss on her knuckles. Despite herself, Callie blushed. Elijah winked before he let go of her hand. In different circumstances, he might have unsettled her, but he was the least threatening person in the entire group, and though he looked like he wanted to eat her, he wasn’t aggressive. He knew how attractive he was and was used to having allowances made for him just because he was pretty.

Tahlia rolled her eyes. Maeve offered her an apologetic smile. The women’s beauty unnerved Callie. Last time, she’d been too anxious to appreciate their looks. The group comprised the most gorgeous people she’d ever seen. Her bisexuality flared in acknowledgment.

Shit. She needed to stop staring. What was she looking for again?

“I… I lost a bracelet here.” Callie touched her bare wrist. “It’s handmade and irreplaceable.”

“This is the last place you remember having it?” Elijah asked. So far, he’d been much kinder toward her than the rest of them. He could have faked his sincerity, but if that was the case, he was doing a phenomenal job. “What does it look like, darling?”

Darling. His use of a pet name took Callie aback, but not for long. She had more pressing matters to attend to. “It’s made of thread, red and yellow. It’s dingy from me wearing it all the time. And there’s a silver charm on it that says FRIENDS.”

“BEST FRIENDS?” Maeve butted in.

“BEST FRIENDS FOREVER,” Callie said. “It’s a heart split into three.”

It felt like admitting an embarrassing secret. At the rate this conversation was going, she’d never stop blushing. So much for making good impressions—a first for Elijah, and a second for Tahlia and Maeve. She no longer gave a shit what Jabari thought of her. That ship had sailed so long ago.

“Maybe you dropped it in the haunted house,” Jabari said. He looked like he was about to say something else, but Elijah cut his eyes at him. Jabari kept silent.

Callie chewed the inside of her cheek. That was the most likely answer, but she doubted she’d be able to find it there now. Perhaps someone had picked it up, or they had cleaned the haunted house out, or even—

“Lost and found.” Callie’s gaze fell on Elijah. “There’s a lost and found somewhere in here, right? Can you take me there?”

Elijah frowned. “I’m afraid there isn’t. Carnival rules follow a finders, keepers philosophy.”

Callie’s frown mirrored his. She shifted her attention to Jabari. “You don’t remember seeing it, do you? After I fell? When we left the house?”

Jabari opened his mouth, then closed it. What was he going to say? Why didn’t he just say it?

Elijah’s tongue darted out to wet his lips. Callie let her eyes linger on his mouth a little longer than she should have. The man had nice lips. Full…

“Why don’t you come hang out with us?” Elijah asked. “We can help look for the bracelet. In the meantime, perhaps we can convince you to have some fun, hm?”

Callie understood that it wasn’t a great idea to go anywhere with this group of near-strangers when they knew the carnival so much better than she did. And… they outnumbered her. Normally, she would think the worst, but when Elijah spoke, his golden tone made her believe him. His voice made her want to give him anything he wanted. If all he wanted was for her to come along with them, she’d be more than happy to do that.

Besides, he had a point. She needed to loosen up.

Confusion swirled in her mind. Why had she come to the carnival? She had been looking for… something she’d lost. Something irreplaceable.

Elijah smiled at her again, and it didn’t matter anymore. He anchored her to the present and promised her the future.

“I’ll go with you,” she said.

For a moment, something dark flitted across Elijah’s features. Something predatory. But he replaced it with another charming smile and a twinkle in his eye just as quickly.

“We’d be thrilled to have you. Come along now, darling.”

Callie’s fingers went to the bracelet on her left wrist. There was only skin. Callie’s pulse quickened and her stomach dropped into her ass. Where the fuck was Becca’s bracelet?

She threw the covers off and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Even when she showered, she kept the bracelet on. The colorful interwoven threads and dangling silver charm, a half heart that said FRIENDS, was one of the only things she had left of Becca. If she’d lost the bracelet…

No. Callie refused to consider it. She couldn’t have lost the bracelet. It had to be lying somewhere in the apartment, or maybe it had fallen off in the car.

The lamp’s chain was cold in her hand as she pulled it and filled the room with light. All that lay on her nightstand was an orange bottle filled with ADHD meds, her cell phone plugged into its charger, and a dog-eared copy of Jane Eyre she doubted she’d ever get through. It had been Becca’s favorite book, and in the wake of losing the bracelet, Callie felt a twinge of guilt-ridden panic as she looked at it. Shit. She couldn’t do anything right, couldn’t shake the feeling she was letting Becca down, no matter what she did.

She wasn’t taking care of Ramsay, either. Becca would never have approved of Jabari and even though Ramsay said he was all right, Callie couldn’t ignore her intuition. Something rotten lurked beneath his shiny surface. Though she’d only glimpsed it, she wasn’t eager to see more. If anything happened to Ramsay—if Jabari did something to him—and Callie did nothing to stop it, she would never forgive herself.

And Becca would never forgive her.

Callie cracked open her bedroom door and padded out into the hallway. The apartment was stepped in darkness save a sliver of light coming in through the living room blinds. No matter how hard she tried, Callie could never get them fully closed. The light stretched over the couch and spread over Ramsay’s face. Somehow, it didn’t bother him. His eyes were closed and he snored softly.

For a minute, she stood there watching him sleep. She felt like a creep, but it calmed her. Rain pelted the windows. Lightning flashed outside, followed by another peal of thunder. Callie put a hand against the wall to steady herself. How many rainy nights had she, Becca, and Ramsay spent in her tiny apartment? How many times had they all fallen asleep on the couch together in the middle of  a movie marathon?

Callie’s heart ached, and once again, her hand went to her wrist only to find it empty. Shit. 

Her gaze swept over the coffee table, across the floor, and back to the couch. No sign of the bracelet anywhere. Perhaps Ramsay lay on top of it, or it had fallen between the couch cushions, but she could’ve sworn she remembered twisting the ends of it at the carnival—

Fuck. That was it. She must have lost it at the carnival.

“Jesus Christ,” she muttered. So much for getting a good night’s sleep. 

She had no idea whether it would still be open so late—or was it so early?—in the day, but she couldn’t rest until she found the bracelet. She had to at least look for it at the carnival, as much as she didn’t want to go back there.

With a sigh, Callie crept back to her bedroom, changed clothes, and grabbed her cell phone from the nightstand. It felt wrong to leave Ramsay behind, but she didn’t want to wake him. Besides, he didn’t need to go. Hopefully, she could get to the carnival, get in, grab the bracelet, and make it back before morning so he’d be none the wiser. She didn’t want to worry him unnecessarily.

If he found out she’d lost Becca’s bracelet, he’d flip.

The cranberry-rust stain at the edge of the white rug in front of her bed caught her eye. Becca had spilled a glass of wine there. If Callie really scrubbed, she could probably get the stain out, but did she even want to?

Before she lost her nerve or had a breakdown or worse, Callie grabbed her keys, turned off the bedside lamp, and headed out of the apartment.

Callie had now pulled into the Starlight Carnival’s parking lot two more times than she’d wanted to. Few cars filled the spaces beside hers, although the lights beyond the lot were just as bright as they’d been earlier. Another woman got out of her car at the same time as Callie. They locked eyes for a second before the other woman turned and headed into the carnival. 

A muffled voice boomed an announcement over the intercom as Callie made her way toward ticketing. Maybe she should have asked Ramsay if Jabari could get them in for free. At least she could have saved some money.

If she had to keep coming back here, she was going to go broke.

She got her ticket and pushed through the turnstiles without any issue. With most of the people gone, the hum of machinery for the rides and attractions filled the empty air. A few couples milled around here and there, but at two o’clock in the morning, the fairgrounds were nearly deserted. The canvas tents creaked and rustled in the wind and most of the food stalls were shuttered. Everything smelled like hot oil, stale beer, and livestock. Callie’s stomach turned, but she pressed on, heading toward the haunted house. It was the last place she remembered wearing the bracelet. It had been on her wrist when she fell—she remembered worrying that she’d gotten blood on it.

A sharp laugh behind her made her jump. Callie whirled around and saw someone she recognized—make that several someones.

“Long time no see,” Jabari said.

Trigger warning: the following scene features a car accident in the form of a flashback/nightmare. If such an event is traumatic for you to read about, please skip this installment. Please take care of yourself.

  

They stayed at the beach until the sky turned pink and purple as the sun set. All the families and other groups of friends had left, and there was no one else around for miles. Callie and Becca sat back to back on the beach blanket. Ramsay sat in the folding chair beside them with his legs stretched out and his feet in the sand. Ramsay and Becca had pink cheeks and noses from failing to reapply their sunscreen. Callie had sore ribs from laughing all day.

“We need to head back,” Becca said.

“Let’s stay a little longer,” Ramsay said.

Becca scrunched up her nose at him. “That’s what you said an hour ago. I have class in the morning, Ram.”

He rolled his eyes. “Beauty school barely counts.”

Becca scoffed and leaned over to punch his arm. Callie laughed. Becca had been training to become a makeup artist for three months. She loved every second of it and had thrown herself headfirst into her studies with surprising tenacity. She’d coasted through high school, where she and her brother had been much more concerned about socializing than studying.

“Not enough schooling in the world to help with you face,” Becca countered.

“You’re twins,” Callie said.

“Well, not identical.” Becca laughed. “That doesn’t make it any less true.”

Ramsay leaned over to shove his sister’s shoulder. The sun had even burned his scalp. “I’ll drive, okay? We’ll be back before you turn into a pumpkin, promise.”

Becca rolled her eyes. “I’d feel better if Callie drove. Safer.”

“Why, because I drive like a grandma?” Callie asked.

“Doesn’t make us love you less,” said Ramsay.

They shook the sand out of the blanket, folded up the chair, grabbed the cooler, and trekked back to Ramsay’s SUV. Callie offered to drive but Ramsay declined. Becca sat beside her brother in the passenger seat and Callie climbed into the back. Right before he started the engine, Ramsay’s phone pinged. He checked it.

“Shit, looks like rain. Guess we should’ve left sooner.”

Becca huffed but said nothing. They turned out of the parking lot and onto the main road. Ramsay fiddled with the radio. Becca pushed his hand away and tuned the signal to NPR. The host droned on about unrest in the Middle East, some report that Callie only half listened to.

If she’d known what was going to happen, she would have paid even less attention, would have focused more on the light in Becca’s blue eyes, the curve of her mouth as she smiled. On her freckles. On the friendship bracelet on her wrist, which Callie had the other half of.

But the tragedy of life is never knowing what comes next, never realizing whether it’s more important to focus on a moment and hold tight to it forever, or whether another will replace it and render it inconsequential.

One minute, the sky was overcast and Ramsay had no trouble driving. The next, the sky opened up, rain flooded the roads, and Ramsay muttered a stream of curses. He had a white-knuckled grip on the wheel, but he still smiled at Callie in the rearview mirror. She always made faces at him when he drove. He hadn’t done anything wrong yet, but she was bracing herself for the inevitable. Later, the memory of the faces she’d pulled would wrack her with even more guilt.

“You’re safe with me,” he promised. “Eyes on the road. I swear.”

“Shut up and pay attention,” Becca chided.

Ramsay rolled his eyes. On the radio, NPR dissolved into broken static. Becca reached for the dial, but Ramsay swatted her hand away. “Uh-uh, you chose last time. Now it’s my–“

“Ramsay!”

Callie wasn’t sure the scream was hers until Ramsay’s eyes widened in the mirror, illuminated by the flash of headlights in the other lane. They’d traveled over the line into oncoming traffic, close enough to see the terrified faces of the people in the other car. Ramsay jerked the wheel to the right and overcompensated. The car screeched, tilted, Becca gasped–

And Callie’s world flipped with the car. The front airbags exploded in clouds of white. The screech of metal on pavement, blaring horns, and tinkle of shattering glass overwhelmed her hearing, and she squeezed her eyes shut against the sensory onslaught.

If only Callie had driven instead.

If only it hadn’t rained.

If only they’d left earlier, as had been the plan.

If only one of those factors had been different, Callie wouldn’t have blacked out upside-down in the backseat, slammed forward in her seatbelt so hard she cracked a rib.

She woke to the acrid stench of gasoline and motor oil, the sounds of sobbing and sirens, and the copper taste of blood, thick and heavy on her tongue. 

Where…? 

Callie tried to move but the seatbelt kept her pinned in place and her ribs protested the effort. Sharp pain flared up her side and spread across her chest. The engine pinged–the car assumed a door had been left open—and intermittent flashes of red light gave the cab an eerie heartbeat—

Thunder ripped Callie out of the nightmare. She sat bolt upright, clutching the sheets to her chest, face slick with sweat. It trickled down her face and mingled with her tears. Though the nightmare was familiar, it was no less frightening. Almost every night, she relived the accident. Snatches of conversation in the aftermath swirled inside her head: Dead on impact. Likely didn’t feel a thing. So young, it’s such a shame… closed casket. Poor Ramsay. They say it’s worse for twins.

In the present, Callie stifled a sob with a hand against her mouth. She didn’t want to wake Ramsay again. It wasn’t the first time she’d had the nightmare while he slept over, and it wouldn’t be the last. He had nightmares too, and they had to be much worse. He’d been awake for all of it. 

He’d seen her head come off.

Something shifted in Jabari’s face. His eyes darkened. When he spoke again, his voice was rough. “You don’t think I’m going to take good care of your friend?”

Ramsay blinked. “Th-that’s not what—”

“Because I’m carnie trash? Is that it?” Jabari’s nostrils flared. “You think I’m an idiot because I didn’t fucking graduate from high school?”

“He didn’t say that,” Callie countered.

“He didn’t have to.”

“Jabari,” Ramsay started. “Forget it. Callie and I—”

“Get the fuck out of here with that attitude.” Jabari scowled. “Thinking you’re better than everyone else.”

Ramsay frowned. Callie wanted to say something to change the subject, maybe break the tension, but she didn’t know what to say. Maybe Jabari had a point. Maybe they should leave. Something had shifted the dynamic, and whatever was going on with Jabari now, Callie didn’t want to stick around to see it sour further.

“Come on, Ram. Let’s go home.”

His mouth opened like he wanted to say something, but his shoulders slumped and he only nodded. With a last wistful look at Jabari, Ramsay shoved his hands in his pockets and pivoted. As he walked off, Callie followed. She half expected Jabari to relent, apologize, and stop them, but he didn’t. They walked all the way to the front of the carnival, through the turnstiles, and into the parking lot without any interruption. The only sounds outside the carnival were the hum of engines starting and the droning of cicadas.

Ramsay stood beside the passenger door, waiting for Callie to unlock the car. He didn’t make eye contact with her.

She took her keys out of her purse, turning them over in her hands as she spoke. “I don’t think you should spend any more time with him.”

“Can we not do this now? Unlock the car.”

Callie sighed. She unlocked the car, got in, and waited for Ramsay to do the same. They both closed their doors, and she started the engine. Once they had their seatbelts on, she hesitated. “He’s not a good guy, Ram. I know he’s nice to look at and maybe he makes you feel good sometimes, but you deserve better.”

“He’s a dick,” Ramsay agreed. “I don’t know what got into him. He’s always been chill with me and then you fell in the haunted house and everything changed.”

“Not sure what the fuck that was.” 

Callie backed out of the parking space and drove out of the lot. Her hands and knee still stung, but not enough to concern her. They were just scrapes. She probably had bled on her clothes somewhere, but if she couldn’t get the stains out, it wasn’t a big deal.

Blood. Maybe that was why Jabari had freaked out.

“Maybe he’s not good with blood,” she remarked.

“What?” Ramsay asked.

“Jabari. He was okay until I fell and he saw I was bleeding. Maybe it triggered him somehow.”

“He didn’t faint or anything, Cal. He wasn’t squeamish. I don’t think that’s it.”

“The timing makes sense.”

“Yeah, but that’s it. I don’t know, maybe he couldn’t keep up the nice guy facade any longer.” He stared out the window as they headed down the road. “Ugh. I’m such a moron.”

“You are not a moron. He’s good at what he does. Whatever that means.”

They kept silent for the rest of the drive. Callie couldn’t think of anything productive to say, and Ramsay didn’t have anything to add, either. When they pulled into Ramsay’s driveway, Ramsay put a hand on hers to stop her from turning the car off.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” His voice was small, almost like a child’s.

Callie’s heart clenched. “Yeah. Of course.”

She backed out of the driveway and headed back to her apartment. Ramsay leaned his seat back, closed his eyes, and said nothing along the way. Maybe he’d fallen asleep. She couldn’t stop thinking about how much he looked like his sister in the moonlight, and the more she thought about Becca, the sharper the pain grew. She wanted to blast some metal and scream, maybe even with the windows down, but Ramsay needed rest. She didn’t have the heart to wake him yet.

It wasn’t a long drive between their places, though, and she parked the car and turned it off only fifteen minutes later. The engine ticked as it cooled.

Callie shook Ramsay’s shoulder. “Hey, dude. We’re here.”

“I was thinking about her,” he mumbled.

“Who?”

“Becca.” His eyes fluttered open and he offered her a sleepy half-smile. “She would have kicked Jabari’s ass for talking to me like that.”

“No, she wouldn’t. She would’ve been obsessed with him, too.”

Ramsay wrinkled his nose at her. “I’m not obsessed.”

“Whatever you say, man. Let’s go inside.”

They made the trek up the stairs to Callie’s apartment. Moths circled the light outside the door, and Callie and Ramsay had to be careful not to let the bugs inside as they slipped in. Without turning on the lights, Callie headed to her bedroom at the back, grabbed a pillow and blanket off the bed, and brought them to Ramsay on the couch. He’d switched on the lamp on the end table and sat back against the cushions with his eyes closed again. When she dropped the pillow and blanket onto his lap, he jumped.

“Jesus.”

“Sorry,” she replied. “Didn’t think you’d be asleep.”

“I wasn’t asleep. I was thinking.”

“Either way.” She smiled. “It’s been a long night. I’m gonna head to bed. You’ll be okay out here?”

“Yeah. If I get scared, I’ll yell for Mommy.”

Callie rolled her eyes. He grinned at her. It was the first time she’d seen him happy since leaving Jabari behind, and she was thrilled she’d made it happen. Maybe the night wasn’t a complete loss after all.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey what?”

“I’m glad we’re friends.”

“Me, too, you goober. Go to bed before you get disgusting on me.”

Ramsay swung the pillow at her and she dodged, laughing. “If I weren’t so tired, I’d beat your ass in a pillow fight right now.”

“Tomorrow is another day,” he said. “Goodnight, Cal.”

“Night, Ram. Let me know if you need anything.”

He set the pillow down and stretched out on the couch. Callie went back to her bedroom and closed the door. She pulled the chain on her bedside lamp, illuminating the framed photograph on her nightstand. In it, she stood on the beach between Becca and Ramsay with her arms around both of them. All of them sported wide, easy smiles. Becca wore a high-waisted yellow bikini with black-striped bottoms that Ramsay had said made her look like a bee.

Callie’s heart twisted. She pulled the chain to turn the light off, put her face in her hands, and cried.