You Might Be an English Major If…

Posted January 23, 2014 by Briana in creative writing, english, english major, Writing / 5 Comments


Author’s note: The following post was taken from my other, more personal blog, Life After My Bachelor’s. If you like random bouts of insanity fueled by caffeine, yoga, and an unhealthy addiction to cheese, feel free to click over and follow me. On with the post!

“Yes, I’m an English major. “

“Yes, I enjoy it.”

“No, I haven’t been published.”

“No, I don’t want to teach.”

Sound familiar? If you got your bachelor’s degree in English, creative writing, or literature, it most definitely should. I get some pretty strange questions on a regular basis. Granted some of them come with the territory, but that doesn’t excuse the ignorance I come across at times. Troublesome questions about the future, your career, and inevitable poverty that every writer is damned to experience are a telltale sign that you might be an English major.

What are some of the others?

Well, you might be an English major if…

  • you’ve had a crush on a literary character (GATSBY) or long-dead author (heyyyyy Fitzgerald)
  • you’ve written fanfiction for Jane Eyre, The Age of Innocence, or Nineteen Eighty-Four
  • the coffee shop or library is your home away from home
  • you think Coleridge’s story about “Kubla Khan” is crap
  • you’ve contemplated getting a book quote tattoo
  • you love rereading books
  • you read classics for your own personal enjoyment
  • you have a Goodreads account
  • you’re skeptical of Sparknotes
  • you understand Moby Dick but still somehow hate it
  • your blood is 80% caffeine and 20% alcohol
  • deadlines are the best inspiration
  • procrastination
  • procrastination
  • procrastination
  • you’ve taken a trip to a dead writer’s house
  • you love smelling old books

I could go on with this list for forever. If anyone’s interested, I might write more in another post down the road.

What do you think? Would you say these are accurate?

P.S. Dibs on Hemingway. Find someone else.


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5 responses to “You Might Be an English Major If…

  1. There are so many things that fit me so well 😀 Especially the caffeine, not sure I have blood it may just actually be tea that runs through my veins!

    Brilliant post 🙂

  2. I’ve had a crush on literary character, I am at home with a book (especially in a coffee shop or library), I relish classics with my everything (body and soul…old music, old books, old movies, old fashion statements, etc), I’ll reread favourite portions of a good book and text exciting or breath-taking excerpts to fellow book lovers, I connect with book lovers stupidly well (they call me the Grammar Nazi sometimes), I write, my closest friend from campus is an English major I want to become when I grow up, I fantasize about my growing home home library more than I do many things, I love to teach English to primary and high school kids, and (GOOD HEAVENS!!! HOW DID YOU KNOW?!) I love the smell of old books!!!!